Menopause Tickets

Will you please help me? My children have begun a revolt! They say I am bonkers, having mood swings, they do?

not care if it due to menopause, mental defect or illness. They have locked me in two rooms of MY house with beer, coke, fried chicken, my chihuahua, tv and computer. They intend to keep me here until Christmas morning. I think it is because they have parties to attend, cookies to bake and presents to wrap and I am in the way. I do have a credit card and a cell phone. If I pay for you a round trip ticket will fly to Florida and rescue me?
They did just promise me a bottle of Irish Creme and my Mr. Coffee and a chamber pot if I will stop singing Aretha Franklins version of Respect and the song Rescue me. They say I have made them allergic to Motown.

My children wish they could contain me....At Halloween, there was a costume party, at a local Karaoke Bar....I went, dressed as Elvis, metallic gold shirt, authentic glasses, wig, and sideburns....I was on stage, drink in hand, singing an old Elvis song, and shaking my booty, when a pair of aliens, on the front row, slowly peeled off their masks....It was my son, and daughter in law.....I could see my son's lips saying "DAD?" but no sound was coming out......Next came the camera, then the cell, to tell my other son that Dad was so-o-o-o-o BUSTED!!!!........I think they were shocked that the "Old Man" could have a good time too......Tell you kids that if they don't let you out, Elvis will come bust you out.......

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